When I was down and out
he left -
pointing a bony finger
of blame at me.
I who had been all moral support
to him
while he was down.
He had said he wanted space
but didn't want
to throw in the sponge,
but then dinner parties
eclipsed his interest
in trying to save us.

He left me -
I who had been missing him, eagerly awaiting his homecoming.

It was just last week
he told he he wanted
to put his loving arms
around me.
He told me that
day after day.

Now his evenings are busy
and he doesn't want
to share any connection with me.
He doesn't want my softness
I feel for him
nor my caring
nor my nurturing
nor my desire
to give him solace.
He doesn't even want
all the fresh vegetables
and fish I gathered for his homecoming.
Now all that's left for me
is to suffer the loss
and hope my missing him subsides.
I never thought his need for space
would be so drastic.
Why did God have to take away
my strength
my mobility
my ability to choose my activities
and then my love
all at once.

Why do I have to undergo
such a massive robbery
all at once?

I guess my love only loved me
when I was able to fly high
and make love with him.
Now that I'm curtailed
he doesn't want to be with me
or give me warm vibes
or caring or comfort.
He doesn't even want to hold
me when evening takes over,
he would rather socialize with others.

I know if it was reversed,
I'd be with him
by his side
choosing that to everything.
My love has left
and all I am is sad.
While I have been longing to be with him and missing him
he has been filling his calendar up
with more exciting plans.

ow can I accept and adjust to
such a loss and disappointment
that has rolled in so fast.
His need for space
gets wider and wider
as he flies over the ocean
away from me.
Golly, he is flying fast -
there's not even smoke left.
If I share with him my feelings
he'll just label tham as "recriminations" and push away more.
My love for him
a curse -indelible ink
I have to try and erase
my loving and caring for him
a mockery laughing at me.
He's made a fool out of me
that he can ridicule.
The roots of my love for him
are deep
and hard to pull out.