My psychiatrist
is like a prostitute
I visit him because of needs
my world doesn't answer.
He is my "friend"
and I pay him money.
The bond is a business bond
it's not a real trust
but one that is bought.
I know how lonely it must be
to have to go find
a person with false trimmings,
pretend you're part of each other's lifes
and then have to give it value
by producing money.
It's as though it has no value
without those dollars.
This loneliness is a lesser loneliness
than the other total loneliness
But, oh-
my stomach aches for real nourishment
my feet to walk on earth
not just slide on thick concrete.
But oh-
emptiness I take with me.
There is nothing else.

One learns, I guess
to ignore a growling stomach,
one learns there are pills
to stop hunger pangs.
One learns there are ways to stop
this and that
as a psychiatrist is a way to stop
lack of understanding.
But this way
as are others,
are bought ways.
The best ways are made in the home
and live there in your own home.
The me in my home is not bought-
But woops-I have to pay for that too.
But there I get more than just
fifty
minute
pieces.