My phone is not ringing.
Are you punishing me
for attempting to express
to be authentic
to trust you with
what's inside?
I can't make my phone ring
nor can I make you
come to me.
It's hard to attend
to the daily chores
of fetching and carrying
when my heart
is in a wheelchair
and my spirit's an old woman hardly able to walk.
I'm here sad
you're there
sweeping any thoughts of me aside

How can we be so different now
when we use to be united
sometimes as one.
I was always there to hear your feelings now my phone won't even ring.
If I call you,
it will be chalked up
as a charge against me.
Why must you punish me
when I donated all I had
to help you on your way.
Now that I have a need
you turn a deaf ear.
The bottom line
is I was used
and you're not willing
to replenish.

A health guru you -
I traveled 3,000 miles
through snow and waiting
to hear hopefully new a combination for health for me.
Tomorrow you will examine me
and read of my tests.
Today once again
I'm too tired to really live Depleted of life's color.
What will you find
What will you prescribe
What will you say -
Doctors have prescribed for me until it all gets a weary mass.
Perhaps it's doctor's prescriptions I should avoid -
stop all treatments -
stop trying to get well
For by stop trying
I will be able to let health
flow to me.

How to stop trying to get well
How to let it flow to come to me
for my chasing after health
has scared health away
running after it here and there
has whipped the very health out of me.
To let it come - to flow to me
To be still and open -
To allow the white life to flood my being and strengthen -
But dictates of appointments
and treatments
block the river of healing -
Relax to my not perfect body.