Alone once again,
with my teenage longings,
by the record player.
Alone -yet longing
for a guy who wasn't longing for me.
I'm 46 now
and at this concert
I'm pulled back
by the record player -
Hurting.
Why do I keep myself
alone, hurting
as though a life sentence.
The music -
a dentist's drill
drilling deep.
Oh! -let me out
of Davies Symphony Hall
I can't stand
the tenderness

The couple in front cuddling.
I'm sitting by you
but oh so alone.
The tenderness of the music drilling into me.
I can't sit
quiet
with tears
tumbling down my face.
There is no room
for love and wanting
in this world.
Your tears are
piano notes,
your playing
touches my skin
too tenderly -
like my lover
use to do.
I ·want to be around
people whose lives
are working
and moving,
I've heard enough
hard luck stories.



-2-